Sometimes, I think of the way things used to be.
Our whispered promises in the dark, the rose tinted
haze of love amidst our drunken teenage years.
I wonder if you ever think of me.
If the thought of me send you into a wave of panic,
sick to the stomach at what had been, what could’ve been.
If you ever wonder how I am,
If you ever remember the shade of my eyes following yours,
the feeling of our bodies together.
I wonder if you let yourself think
about the taste of whiskey on eachothers breath,
the way your hand would fit mine.
Sometimes, I imagine what I would say to you now,
when I saw you on the street, or hovered over your name.
I think of the way things could have been,
if we would still be in love,
if we were ever meant to be?
It wasn’t hard to be tender
to trace your lips with my finger
and sink into your skin.
It wasn’t hard to curve my body
and melt into the other.
It wasnt hard to forget time
my hands running aimlessly through your hair.
It wasn’t hard to open my heart
and spirit to the softness,
gentleness of your careess.
It wasn’t hard to love you.
When did you become so distant?
When did your eyes become empty, so devoid of feeling, so
When did you harden your heart,
and your mind?
Or build walls to keep yourself
and outside, out?
When did you isolate and repress
each memory, each caress?
When did you cast aside each whisper or promise?
When did you chose not to listen
When did you stray?
When did I lose you?
When did you lose yourself?
When did you become distant?
emit, diffuse, diverge from central point, give out/off.
I could feel your warmth
when your eyes locked mine.
We danced together but did not
move, our eyes
chasing the other around the room.
My cold heart
Thawing, as your eyes warmed mine.
Unintentionally stealing your aura.
Filling my soul
with your welcome rays.