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A word on ‘Clean Eating’.

I recently read a few articles about clean eating. This is one of those topics that I feel very strongly about, a couple of people very close to me have struggled with eating disorders for a very long time, and I also have had issues with being anemic and iron deficient for pretty much the majority of my life, and being a chicken-only indulgent vegetarian since I was only young. In recent years, and especially since having a baby, I have really struggled with my weight, and being healthy.

Since the whole ‘clean eating’ trend came around, I have always been very critical about the hype concerning the trend and it’s not something I would ever follow myself. The diet itself has always seemed very restrictive and lacking in basic nutrition that we, as humans, need to function. For instance, and I know from hearing things from clean eaters in my life and seeing enough clean eaters on social media, that the majority of the lifestyle seems to consist of a salad (with no dressing), and vegetables.

‘Clean eating’ often means cutting out vital nutrients that we need to feed our bodies, such as protein, carbohydrates, fibre, iron, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, the list goes on. It is impossible to get your body all of the nutrients and vitamins it needs through an extremely restricted diet. And this can lead to so many problems, including but not limited to, iron deficiency, extreme weight lose, fatigue, and bone health.

A certain someone, let’s call them Alex, in my life follows the clean eating trend extremely religiously.  I’ve often been around Alex, for a long period of time, and been astounded as to how little they really do eat. Is a handful of steamed veggies for dinner enough to sustain us? Is some avocado on gluten free toast without butter enough to sustain us? Is a couple of almonds enough to sustain us?

Ever since we have been young, it has been drilled into us that the key to having a healthy body and lifestyle is through a balanced and healthy diet. Is a few dried leaves and a kale smoothie healthy for us in the long run?

Unsurprisingly (and using Alex as an example) a number of health issues have arose. Chronic fatigue and lack of energy and focus, anemia and a vitamin D deficiency, and depression to name a few. But still, clean eating itself is never to blame.

The part that really gets to me, is that if Alex, for example, did not label such a diet as ‘clean eating’, would they be categorised as having an eating disorder? Where is the line between ‘clean eating’ and an eating disorder? And by drawing that line, would the glorification of ‘clean eating’ end?

daily prompts · life · love · my story · poetry · relationships · Uncategorized · writing

Our fate?

Sometimes, I think of  the way things used to be.
Our whispered promises in the dark, the rose tinted
haze of love amidst our drunken teenage years.

I wonder if you ever think of me.
If the thought of me send you into a wave of panic,
sick to the stomach at what had been, what could’ve been.

If you ever wonder how I am,
If you ever remember the shade of my eyes following yours,
the feeling of our bodies together.

I wonder if you let yourself think
about the taste of whiskey on eachothers breath,
the way your hand would fit mine.

Sometimes, I imagine what I would say to you now,
when I saw you on the street, or hovered over your name.

I think of the way things could have been,
if we would still be in love,
if we were ever meant to be?

anxiety · biploar disorder · daily prompts · depression · life · mental health · mental illness · my story · self help · series · Uncategorized · writing

Daily prompt: Bottle.

My entire life I have watched people drown their sorrows in drink, or drink to be merry, or merely to pass the time. Growing up, I always swore that I would never turn into one of those people. I hated the effect alcohol had on your body and your mind. I hated the smell of it, on your breath, on your clothes. I had watched alcohol fill people with anger, sadness, confusion, laziness, depression, and hurt. I swore I would never be one of those people.

And yet, in my mid teens, I ended up turning to the bottle. In my own depression and despair, I turned to the one thing I had always despised. And I drowned myself in it. My friends would jokingly say that I was an alcoholic, but in reality, I probably wasn’t far from it. I had a secret stash of bottles of whatever I could get my hands on, whatever I could afford. I drank almost every day, I showed up at school more than once still drunk. I would host parties at my house every single weekend, and all night long, and I would get so black out drunk that most of those years are still a drunken haze or poorly put together memories and accounts from other people of my behaviour.

Looking back, I know that I had gotten to a terribly dark place, which caused me to reach for the bottle. It took me a long time to get back on track and sort myself out, and nowadays I rarely drink and when I do, I know my limits and stick to the odd one or two.

daily prompts · life · love · my story · poetry · relationships · series · Uncategorized · writing


It wasn’t hard to be tender
to trace your lips with my finger
and sink into your skin.
It wasn’t hard to curve my body
against yours
and melt into the other.
It wasnt hard to forget time
and space,
my hands running aimlessly through your hair.
It wasn’t hard to open my heart
and spirit to the softness,
gentleness of your careess.
It wasn’t hard to love you.

anxiety · biploar disorder · daily prompts · depression · life · mental health · mental illness · my story · poetry · series · Uncategorized · writing


When did you become so distant?
When did your eyes become empty, so devoid of feeling, so
When did you harden your heart,
and your mind?
Or build walls to keep yourself
and outside, out?
When did you isolate and repress
each memory, each caress?
When did you cast aside each whisper or promise?
When did you chose not to listen
or love?
When did you stray?
When did I lose you?
When did you lose yourself?
When did you become distant?

<a href=””>Distant</a&gt;